Nice

It is fucking awesome though. If this works, the feeling will be incredible. Starting businesses is the thing I LOVE. No one tells you what to do or what to wear, and if it’s successful I’ll be so proud…. It’s like being a father is suppose.

Didnt get the other Uni work done, indigestion is a bitch and hit me pretty hard. Being incapacitated sucks

Went to meet GF (Ex technically) for the first time in about 2 months. We met at the lake just to talk. I gave her the letter I had written about us and about why I had wanted to break up.

I thought it made alot of sense but once she had read it, she still could not comprehend the reasons behind my decision. It was all very strange. We argued a lot.

In the end though, the emotions got so intense that I just had to grab her and hug her… we ended up kissing. I forgot how good I felt around her. We’ll have to see about the future…

Arrived home from Uni. Good to be back but strange to see everything is still pretty much the same.

Practiced the piano for a bit, then pretty much went to bed.

12/12

Interesting day.

Woke up and did some great stretches and meditation. Meditated on the subject of negatives, and how they are really calls to action. See: Meditation Society Of Australia

Cracked out some uni work, feel it’s important to keep that up over the holidays.

Practiced piano and also drums. Drums was very strange. I got the same relaxed feeling that I used to get whilst playing it. Made me feel quite sad actually that I wasn’t able to do that all the time.

13/12

Chose 5 firms to apply to for spring week.

Purchased 5 dvd’s from Stylelife. I debated whether to get them or not, but in the end thought ‘fuck it’ just do it. I had the discount and in the end what better way to spend your birthday money? A months membership came with it also. So far the challenges have been pretty good. I look forward to what the month can bring!

Remembered a pickup insight that I had a while back and wrote it down. I had this when gf commented on ‘how easy’ the whole relationship thing had been. If only she knew the work I put in at the beginning to get her! As follows:

The whole pickup and relationship process should always feel easy to a girl her. If it does not, you are not doing it right. She will view the whole thing, and by consequence you, as not fun and hence not want it to be part of her. You are very much like a duck – Looking calm and serene above the water, whilst paddling furiously underneath it !

Credit to Soul for the duck analogy.

Finished researching firms to apply for spring weeks. There’s a good selection. I feel that this should help me decide if Investment Banking is what I really want to do.

Sorted out CV review, and invited to party week on Friday (18^th)

09/12

Woke up kind of late, was hard to feel motivated once everything has finished at uni!

Got washing done. Fun stuff! (Although it’s now a lot easier to crack out then at the start of term)

10/ 12

Superset exercise of the gym – Good workout!

Consisted of getting a 30kg barbell and doing:

-          Standing shoulder presses,

-          Squats,

-          Vertical Rows,

-          Bent over Rows,

-          Bicep Curls,

No rest in-between – a killer for arms!

Also did squats and some pull ups.

Navy in the PM. was going to meet a group before, but arrived late with only 30mins till transport appeared. Blondie was there. Greeted me enthusiastically, I thought it was on tbh.

Bit of a weird night. Blondie behaved very strangely – IOI’s mixed with IOD’s and shit test after shit test! Think it was a combination of being drunk, having been messed up, and also not really getting me – we’re really pretty different.

Many went out afterwards. Blondie didn’t go and I felt a pretty ill after mixing too much beer and port. Went home and was in bed by 00:00

Got up early and had breakfast in the canteen. Went to Library and finally cracked the T-account system for accounting. Also cracked out a 7 page Self Assessment Test, and handed that in – Good times.

Met up with tutor – that lasted about 3 mins, but at least got it out the way! They really don’t care what you do in uni it seems, or maybe it would be better to say they don’t care how you go about doing things! It’s nice to not have someone telling you what to do all the time.

Began to research internships to apply to this spring.

Felt pretty down about the whole gf thing, and spoke to two homies (B & M) about things. Good long talk.

Listened to some banging Buddha Bar tunes, and made a list of things I really wanted in my life… interesting.

Specifically I wrote/ wanted to:

-          Be a DJ and play cool music

-          Have a girl who likes opera, art and music and respects my passion for business

-          A girl who is a true head turner, is passionate and sexy

-          Work for myself and make my own money.

This got me thinking about what these types of women do with their lives. How can I put myself into environments where these women hang out??

Slept for hours! Think it must have been a good 10hrs. Woke up late but felt good for it.

I had a great meditation session too with some good insights – posted later.

Finally wrote those thank-you letters for my birthday money etc. They’re still a bit of a chore, but nowhere near as much as when I was younger. A card seems piss to write in comparison to an essay!

I organised the various subject matter that had been scattered over the period of the term.

I then chilled out and read ‘The Odyssey’ for a good hour and a half. I never used to make time for reading, but now I do, I find I really enjoy it!

06/12

Went to the gym, and worked my back and shoulders.

Read the FT – using my new found ability to focus on reading!

It was cold, very cold. I realised that normally when I walked somewhere I would be thinking about all sorts of things, my body language, what I was wearing, what was happening around me, who was around me, whether girls were giving RAS etc….

What I Realised:

I thought ‘this is all so much bullshit, WTF am I worrying about this stuff?!’ I have a goal, and that goal (at the time) was just to get home, into the warmth and out of this cold weather.

Staying true to this goal, I ignored everything else and, you know what, I felt so much better for doing so.

I felt really at ease, with EVERYTHING. And far from being less aware, by consciously relaxing I found that all my senses were heightened.

To this I added my RN insight:

Leadership training made me realise: I could be a leader. It made me feel like I was someone who could lead men and also someone who they would follow – an important thought. People will respect me and accept my authority

These two thought patterns combined and my confidence skyrocketed. This experience made me feel truly great.

Two particular profound thoughts:

-        I really feel as if I am starting to fall in love with MYSELF as a person. An important thing and on that I think is really the true basis of inner strength and being a truly strong male. I’ve been through a lot with myself, and my body mind and spirit have seen everything. They know everything I wish to do, and all I’ve been through. They are my greatest friend. I intend to embrace and love myself, and to make this a habit until it is something I feel wholly and truly.

-          I’m starting to see things and in particular people, less in terms of game, and more organically. I’ve realised that I have been treating everything in the context of ‘game’ and analysing – probably far too much – every situation that I come across. I believe game training is important if certain skills don’t come naturally to you, but there comes a point where you just have to relax, and stop the analysing.

I have to realise that I am a great, strong attractive person, and that I won’t lose out by ‘turning it off’ and will most likely connect to people to a greater extent, and be all the better for it.

Spent most of the day revising for Stats exam on Friday

Had colour fest in the PM, and I had one clear goal – to get with girls. I was ready to push things as far as I could, just for the experience and to see if I could. 3 events stick in my mind:

1 – Jumped into a set just off the bus. Very pretty girl and one of the first I’ve met here that is actually into classical music (she was G8 flute – freaky aye?!). Things started to escalate yet during a slight lull when we were both on the way for a slash, she told me she was seeing someone and couldn’t do anything… strange as the attraction was definitely there… guess it was serious. Saw her for a bit outside the bathroom. Her friends came and took her to dance. I wasn’t going to hang on so was out. Onwards…

2 – Being balsy as fuck to an HB9, ended up standing in the middle of the club with her arms around my shoulder. Didn’t convert… It’s hazy but I think I said lets go talk and she didn’t want to… Hazy though…

3 – Single set, good looking girl. Basically lead across the club and isolated.

HB “I’m not getting with anyone tonight”

I ploughed through. Within 5 mins we were making out.

Left club together, she bought me food J

Went back to hers, talked and made out, but escalation wasn’t happening. No lay, but good experience never the less.

I rolled into bed about 04:30. Uni aye… Standard

Can’t believe how fast these last few weeks have gone – semester 1 is almost over.

Today has been a really interesting day. After ragging it with the push-ups and sit-ups till late last night, I slept until about 11:30 – more tired than I realised I think!

The day was mostly spent doing further revision for the upcoming stats exam. initially I found it hard to concentrate on revision. My mind felt like it was buzzing on 100 other things. To attempt a remedy, I sat and put on some Morcheeba, and tried to focus my mind. It was here that I had an Insight:

When my mind is cluttered and I find it hard to concentrate, there is a reason for it. It seems I feel that if I concentrate my attention and focus solely on 1 item, I am troubled by thoughts of things that I might miss. That is, the other things that I could be doing.

Often I have so much information flying around my head, that I do not know what to concentrate on.

My solution to this was simply to realise that it was occurring (Talk about an ‘ahh’ moment!). By telling myself ‘this is the task that I need to focus on currently, I will not miss anything and will only gain by doing so’ was a really help to me and allowed me to knuckle down to some excellent and very productive revision. Happy Days

In the PM – Sorted out website and hosting for Film business. Realised there is a lot I need to learn to build a great website!